It's been a long time not post anything. Had been dealing with different sorts of things for the whole March. School stuff, travel, and trying to remember and forget, things that are scattered around and always changeable. For something just couldn't be mad anymore. Indeed the cold and suspect feeling cuz it seems like on the way it should be. But sometimes still have that unmanageable rage from the bottom, think them stupid, think people unreliable. They instead say i'm paranoid, ask me what the hell in this world i still like and have faith in. Communication is always not easy. To befriend someone is not easy either. I feel drag to talk to people i dont really want to. I dont stop social just cuz ive gotten to be in some connections, the power of this shitty network but how can i not feel nauseous, completely foolish, and shitting me myself. Look at those faces and look at mine. on the same sinking boat. funny.

The lucky thing is that its the last month of school. Lot of homework due and tests coming. I apparently stand out in math but feel less active in media class among those people who think freely. The good thing is that ive learned to think more critically and really have a background local students dont have. Anyway that class is so much fun.

No stay in dorm anymore next fall when come back from China. Cant bear cafeteria trash food any longer. Need to find a apartment and new roommate. Need to work and pay the fuckin ticket we got from road trip, and also my desires for outfits. Need a good wallet and some good shit. btw Marc Jacobs is engaged with his Brazilian boyfriend. Im not totally against gay marriage but just feel hard to accept that my FAVO designer and the man i ADMIRED is going to marry a man and his THAT ONE is definitly not good lookin. But if Marc was a norm but not a little feminal he wouldnt have creatively entertained so many women by his work. I thus talked about homosexuality with Rebacca for almost whole night. Susan Griffin's article as well. I think we both believe in feeling, sensitive and not that logical. Rebacca said all the boys she adored in highschool were tragic. I know when she was young and im young we both lookin for some sad, fragile and artist-like men. But they cant save us when we age. I mean save the day to day detailed and annoying life. Probably when i get older i can feel more free to many things i cant agree with now. I will as well marry a man positive, cheerful. I will respect him and also be thankful. I know there must be a time needed from now and then for me to improve. I will ultimately find calmness and turn into the right direction after a while, a long while but hopefully though.

The movie watched recently were all good stuff. Cash Back, Thank You for Smoking, The dreamers, Pineapple Express. Can squeeze some new perspective and meet new frontier from them and adore beautiful.

I will soon post the pics in Vegas and Grand Canyon i promise but its really a tough task ! lol!