起的很早涂了红色指甲油在奶奶家做了饭买了合身的长裤白色的热裤黑色的凉拖红花珠串发卡色彩艳丽的皮筋耳环深红墨镜大红笔记本披头士明信片和楠楠Rita吃了火锅哈了啤酒！

 

小声的放音乐或者完全安静

我想起高三的夜里，念过书或者上完网之后坐在黑暗里看窗外的马路，偶尔夜车疾驰

时常分不清幻觉虚实，也再看不了爱情故事

与楠楠聊述只身一人在人人羡嫉的美国，对人世的失望，无以复加

不能将舒适以及信任予以任何人的时候，便收集杂物

并养可以附于感情但也不会长腿跑了的绿色植物

临走时朋友不愿收养，有即将失去相依为命的亲故的难过

并不是不热爱生活的人

并不是不向往美好的人

只是一些东西加速瓦解，再也不能伸手说要就要回来

沉沉说 如果有一天我也不能理解你 那你什么也不要和我说

如果有一天我谁都不能理解我

我就笑着跳着离开这个世界

瑞安常说 你不是一个人 你有我可以说

可我只能是沉默并节制的，爱你的我

我被这种幻觉支撑着行走，学会不去强求真实的我们

也许只有彻底失望，才能重新开始

 

我们都是疯子

你喝酒

我抽烟

我们在深夜将眼泪流进过期的蓝莓酸奶里

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gonna leave again. I still remember last time when I was on the airplane above Colo Springs, tears came out when i saw the brown land of Colorado. I still cannot figure it out where all the emotion comes from everytime I leave a place. But still feel that I don't belong to anywhere after a while. After I meet people, find something good and bad or get hurt I just wanna get away. I need a break to kill all my pain inside. Finding something new to help to forget about the dying past. It is sort of addiction to me because it is hopeful and painful in the mean time. People find that it is hard to make me stay. I get mad many times because of this. I just completely cannot handle the feeling when people try to schedule me when I really don't wanna get involved. The rule is that you respect my independence, we play. Such a simple rule but nobody can follow... lol

 

Anyway. My flight from Denver to SFO is at night. I will finally arrive Qingdao through HongKong. I kinda have the idea to have mask on to prevent the swine flu but kinda feel very weird in a way. Nobody would want to talk to me then. lol. I just hope it won't interupt my plan for travel.

 

I moved from dorm to uncle's house and started to talk with them for all night. I like the Bluemoutain coffee he took back from Italy and Merci chocolate, though I am not quite a coffee person. I love tea and particularly the scent of tea leaves before boiled. It is likely to be another addiction of mine. I enjoyed talking to them. More sophisticated but still open-minded people.

 

My thought is always jumping here and there and i can't get them regulated...